TIME HAS NO REFUND POLICY

Since I want to do a lazy pictoral entry, I've compiled about 20 images that I feel accurately sum up my existence through the month of February of this year. I spent countless hours (literally--COUNTLESS) doing image searches for work, to the extent that the combination of mouse-clicking and insufferable desk height very nearly destroyed my right arm's ability to function. If at first glance you think that's an exaggeration, know also that my excruciating pain warranted the use of an adhesive heat pack for 12 hours on the center of my back. Driving was brutal. Holding the phone was unbearable. Brushing my teeth was painful. Any motion simulating the hand-on-mouse movement made me wince. So before you go thinking my job was easy because I was forced to research a 250-point list of random items and save everything I could find, consider what moving a mouse around all day will do to one's elbow/shoulder/spine. CONSIDER IT.

Okay. So the month of February. I guess it was sort of eventful but since I can't remember anything about it, I guess it really wasn't. I remember being really into Japanese products (as cited in a previous entry), and I did finally receive my Unazukin in the mail last week (still haven't entirely figured it out since the instructions ARE in Japanese). I know that despite being quite miserable at work, I did laugh a lot in February. MAYBE THESE PICTURES WILL SHOW YOU WHY.


This woman has a beautiful alpaca and admirable posture. Give her a blue ribbon or...a purple banner?


I'm having a personal debate about whether dolls imitate life or life imitates dolls. The kid who owned this family couldn't have been happy.


And what is happiness? Happiness is the American Hot Dog Maker. I really can't believe they haven't come up with a hot dog maker that encapsulates any type of food into a sausage casing for completely customized treats.


Because I would wrap a rainbow in sausage casing if I could!


Is Teddy wearing a beret?


Fools! The computer software you're using to read this is completely antiquated! This photo clearly displays the computer of 2004, complete with scientist sidekick and power steering. Does YOUR computer have power steering?


When you want to stun people into submission, show them this photo.


True story: I found this man's photo on his family's website and then found the same site again through a completely unrelated search two weeks later. What is the world coming to! Also: Don't most people only have to wear an eyepatch temporarily? I realize there are a few people in the world who probably wear one everyday, but most don't. So do you think this guy is one of those rare people? Or did he just schedule a photo shoot to highlight this jaunty stage in his life? (Or maybe a very, very strange mid-life crisis?)


Perhaps the world's largest collection of blue ribbons. Perhaps also the world's butt-ugliest living room.


This guy makes me chuckle. Looks like he's having a blast. Looks like he's hiding something. Looks like he's enjoying a private joke. The mystery is so amusing!


Similarly, this makes me laugh every time I see it. Who knew comic book clippings could be so randomly humorous?


Would you believe I had to research photos of Prince for work? I saved this one to annoy the coworker who needed the images from me.


Oh Wanda, nobody lurks in the doorway like you.


This was my favorite result for the word "Waco." Nearly everything was some burning building and tanks and smoke and stuff...what is that about?


Speaking of smoke, this is what happened to the guy who tried to use his cell phone in a restricted military area in the Middle East. He survived the blast but lost his arms. Afterwards he inspired millions by learning how to dial phone numbers with his nose.


Just kidding. They were only able to salvage his brain, which they used to power this bubble generator. Really cuts down on bulk when you're traveling to foreign countries and don't want to tote around those electricity converters!


Hey look everyone, business in the front...


...party in the back!


I like this photo because it captures the Bayou Mood. You know, that nostalgic feeling one gets when viewing The Rescuers. Or mindlessly quoting random lines from The Rescuers. Or mindlessly typing about The Rescuers. Good movie, guys!


What do you do when you find your man with a beautiful lolita in unfortunate heart-shaped sunglasses?


You hire Estelle Getty to shoot him in the face!

I think that concludes the month of February.



ZING!