I COULD NEVER BE A FISHERMAN

Do people send email anymore? Lately I really love writing emails. Somehow I've always been good at that sort of thing, managing to churn out 8 paragraphs in about 20 minutes. Some people are overwhelmed by my emails but this is normal for me. The problem is that nobody ever writes back, at least not much more than maybe 3 or 4 paragraphs, and even then those are small. Does this mean I should be a writer?

Becoming a writer is something I've been thinking about recently. The lifestyle would definitely suit me--setting my own hours, working from home, not being tied down to anything else, and being able to go work in cool places like hip, dark European cafes. It's such a glamorous idea. My schedule wouldn't be too much different, except for the whole going-to-work bit. Here's how I think it might pan out:

8:27 AM: Wake up. Let dog out; feed dog. Make some eggs and toast, drink some coffee while reading news online. Check email.

9:16 AM: Get dressed. Sit down at work space that is tidy but still littered with knick knacks, brightly colored sticky notes, and a busy bulletin board on the wall. Consult obnoxiously large book of notes and boxes of files while getting into writing the next portion of my book.

10:20 AM: Bathroom. That coffee goes right through me! Let dog out again.

10:24 AM: Back to writing.

12:01 PM: Lunchtime. I think I'll have a small salad and a toasted turkey sandwich with swiss, lettuce, and some mayo. Not a lot of mayo, just a little bit. When it comes to mayonnaise, a little is a lot and a lot is suicide. Also, give dog midday chew snack.

12:34 PM: Note that the time is 12:34. Make a glass of lemon water and get back to writing.

3:05 PM: Breaktime. Take dog on walk, check mail, stop by coffee shop some hot tea and then eat some fruit. Dog is annoying and difficult to walk with. Chastise dog all the way home.

3:28 PM: Back to work. My stomach is full and warm, I've put on some socks, and I'm chewing a large piece of bubble gum, probably too large. I prefer small pieces of gum like Trident but then I have to chew two of them to get the right bubble-blowing size. If I get something like Bubbalicious or Bubble Yum they are too big. Since somehow too big seems more economical, and I am painfully practical, I settle for the large piece.

4:15 PM: Bathroom. That tea goes right through me! Let dog out.

4:20 PM: Back to work. No more gum, I threw it away when it lost its taste 20 minutes ago.

6:02 PM: Dinnertime! I consider making soup or ordering Chinese food. I make the obvious choice and go with the Chinese food.

6:34 PM: Food is here. I watch a little TV, probably the Simpson's, while I eat. The dog goes out again since, for some unknown reason, he always wants to as soon as I sit down to eat.

7:02 PM: Work some more to wrap up the portion I'm working on. I'm completely sick of sitting down.

8:10 PM: Take dog on walk. Stop and get newspaper or magazine, wonder why I stupidly walked the dog again today.

8:54 PM: Clean kitchen. Talk to friends/family online and catch up on any email (this reminds you that this schedule is pretend as I don't receive any email).

10:58 PM: Do some reading before bed, listen to some music, maybe fiddle with a poem idea I've had brewing for a while. Then wash face, brush teeth.

11:31 PM: Sleep.

Oh man, this is such a gigantic dream of mine. I have toyed with the idea of going back to school for an English degree but I know I wouldn't use it to teach English. Perhaps some creative writing courses would be the way to go. I don't have time to go to school full-time anyway and I'm sure I have the skills, I just need to know how to bring it all out.

I basically want the life of J.K. Rowling, or at least a variation of her life. Yes, I tend to go for the lofty aspirations.