DISCO MTRCYCLE

It's 10:26 PM on Saturday, January 27th. I am enjoying an iced gingerbread latte for the last time until November and trying to think of something dazzling to discuss on my amazing blog, which you are currently reading. I realize you are not dazzled yet. But I have a plan!

Yesterday, in a lengthy foray into my hard drive's photographic content, I was able to delite myself with the crazy film stills I found on the internet last year. I had come across one of those sites dedicated to really forgrettably horrible (or unforgettably horrible, as the case might sometimes be) films. Most of these these films were created at some point between 1960 and 1980, occasionally drifting into the netherworld of the 1990's (definitely horrible; I was a kid in the 90's so I can say with complete confidence that the decade was generally terrible). Hm, lots of -ible's in this paragraph. Thank you for bearing with me. Anyway, this website dedicated to really bad movies had a decent stock of film stills accompanying many of the movie reviews. Since there were literally hundreds of films that had been discussed on the site, I was able to save a lot of beautifully tacky and/or random film stills onto my computer for future use. "For future use" in this case means something like this post I am typing right now, in which I am going to share some of the film stills so you can enjoy them as well. Also, because I am such a genius, I am going to post some other random-sourced film stills. I don't know where they all came from but they are beautiful and bring joy to my heart!


Is this Fabio? Just supposed to resemble him? I don't know. What I'd really like to see is the facial expression of the girl standing on the porch. Is she a young innocent type just now being exposed to a hot Californian teenage couple in their white bathing suits/underwear/sleeveless shirts? Since I am never going to see this movie, I suppose I'll never know.

If you don't believe in the fashion police, this film aims to convince you of its existence. This guy was hauled in right off the street! What they don't show you is when he and Ms. Frizzy Puffball here end up having a scandalous affair after she gets pulled into his endeavor in the black market selling vests.

Don't be deceived, dinosaurs existed up until about 1984. In this case, the baby T-Rex is attacked by three idiotic hunters, chases them down, and eats the two fat ones while the third guy escapes. The surviving hunter later writes a tell-all book entitled "Dinosoaring Appetite: How a Prehistoric Creature Ate My Two Hunting Buddies.

Stanley the mantid investigator, incognito in his trenchcoat and hat, manages to get discovered by his enemy while on a picnic with his vest-wearing girlfriend. In the following scene, not shown, Stanley and his girlfriend whip the enemy to death with their belts.

People in movies shouldn't go to McDonald's. Did McDonald's make money off of their sack being featured in this film? (Did anyone make movie because of anything in this film?) The lumperjack (yeah, that's right) in the white henley shirt doesn't look very eager to dig in, while the "female" on the left is saying, "Go on, the sauce on the Big Mac is actually really good!"

I'm sharing this one because it's one of the few that makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. A motorcyclist flying through the air with his/her backside aflame. What's not to love?

Was it the obnoxious protagonist who was smashed by this block of concrete? Or perhaps it was the quiet, intelligent sidekick who met his tragic demise? Maybe the answer is on the tape inside that tape recorder in his hand.

This girl deserved to get shot, fresh out of the shower. She doesn't even know how to fire her own machine gun! You don't aim at the ceiling, moron! She probably would have lived had she thought to hide in that gigantic sack hanging on the wall behind her.

We can't reach the end of this adventure without enjoying the sight of a generic exhausted man ready to go home. Maybe he's the office manager who was recently suspended only to discover the source of the company's money problems and immediately have his job restored, or perhaps he's just a lowly accountant. I hope he got some sleep in the next scene.

You know that I've got piles more of these pictures but I can only take this so far. That's why I'm stopping at the three-person high-five. Really, once you get to that point there is no going any further without complete destruction of the entire universe.