Clobbering the sky with my fists until the air begs for mercy!

I've been perusing Google Earth for photographs of the area I live in, as well as places I've been before. It's especially pathetic that the Dallas area has so few good photographs detailing the natural beauty of the pollution-riddled urban sprawl. I'm thinking perhaps I should take it upon myself to submit photos to Panoramio so they'll show up in Google Earth. Users across the globe want to know that Plano Texas is a great place to live! They want to be enthralled with the scenic tranquility, the pastoral beauty, the concrete sea!

If you want to know the extent of the ridiculous lack of culture in Dallas as portrayed by Google Earth, then Google-Earth "Dallas, Texas" and browse around for photographs. You'll find a whole lot of pictures of where Kennedy was shot and some other pictures that make the downtown area look interesting. If you pan out beyond that there are things like "Phil's House" out in Fort Worth and "Creek 2" in Plano. I knew Dallas/Fort Worth lacked color but I never expected THIS. There are certainly more than enough places worth photographing around here so I am genuinely shocked that my living environment is being portrayed to the world in such a poor fashion. Something must be done and I'm willing to contribute to that goal! Plano (where I live) is nicer than much of the rest of the metroplex, but it's also definitely a large suburb of another suburb of another suburb of Dallas proper.

The Good:


The Bad, the Ugly (all from Fort Worth, not coincidentally):

A piece of advice: don't ever, EVER go to Bedford unless you're en route to another place. It will be time you can never get back, son!

People Never Cease to Amaze Me!

$20 portable entertainment!

World Atlas Rubik Cube

You have a lovely neck, my lady

The Dutch painter Gerard Terborch (1617-1681) either hated women's faces or he loved the back of their heads. Considering some of the faces of the women he painted, I'm not sure I blame him. (You can enlarge the first four images.)




Terborch's madness:

This was pummeled into my head today anyway.

(Click to enlarge)

My Life is an Electronic Coffee Shop.

I think I've burned myself out on Mikkel Metal as of this afternoon. It was great while it lasted, Mikkel. Don't worry, I'll still listen to that one song at night to make me ready for sleep. You were so good to me and I've really learned a lot from this relationship.

For a variety of reasons, I've been nearly unable to eat a thing since last Wednesday. I guess the extent was great enough for people to comment on my "looking different" today adding, "I think you've lost weight." They were looking at my face. Maybe the fact that I've taken up chain-smoking is already making itself very evident on my ashy skin, wrinkly lips, and red eyes. I blew smoke in their face and said, "You're full of crap!" I don't really smoke.

Anyway, I sort of have my appetite back tonight. Weekends are one thing but it's nearly impossible for me to avoid eating at work. I literally work up a massive hunger while I'm there and then I will readily pass out if I don't eat something right away. I got sick of being fanned or face-slapped back to consciousness, plus the bruising from falling down was getting ugly. Another benefit of eating regularly is that my starvation-induced homicidal tendencies have ceased as well. Those people should be thankful they got out alive!

My assistant manager told me today that if I needed to leave work early to go buy a semi-automatic weapon of some sort, it was completely justified. That actually made me feel good.

Aw, who am I kidding? I can never stop loving you, Mik! If anything, the sweatshirt you're wearing has created undying devotion in me.

Favorite Detail Shots from Chanel's Fall 2007 Show

And finally, Karl Lagerfeld, though a wealthy, undisputable genius, needs to do something about his yellow pebble teeth:

Clarice & Simon

I love Clarice's photographs, especially the juxtaposed image sets.

POOR FEETS!

Having kept up with the forthcoming fashion trends as the shows are revealed each spring and fall, I have always enthusiastically enjoyed the detail photographs from the runway. This means I've exposed myself to a lot of either extremely interesting facets of the fashion world or extremely unattractive moments in the lives of fashion models. I aim to highlight one of those now: the models' feet. Not only do models often have to cram their ginormous feet into shoes that are much too small, they also have to walk effortlessly in shoes not necessarily designed to be worn while walking. Models who are fortunate enough to do a lot of runway shows during a season (and make the big bucks) also develop blisters, corns, hammertoes, bruises, and cuts on their feet. Delicious! Of course you wouldn't really know or care about this if I wasn't posting about it and I'm only posting about it because I have nothing else to discuss.

I have provided some of the worst examples of poor model feet that I could find (often I name the file something like "versace fall 2005 - poor feet!!!!.jpg"). Click the thumbnails to view and be thankful your feet are nice and comfortable right now.

DISCO MTRCYCLE

It's 10:26 PM on Saturday, January 27th. I am enjoying an iced gingerbread latte for the last time until November and trying to think of something dazzling to discuss on my amazing blog, which you are currently reading. I realize you are not dazzled yet. But I have a plan!

Yesterday, in a lengthy foray into my hard drive's photographic content, I was able to delite myself with the crazy film stills I found on the internet last year. I had come across one of those sites dedicated to really forgrettably horrible (or unforgettably horrible, as the case might sometimes be) films. Most of these these films were created at some point between 1960 and 1980, occasionally drifting into the netherworld of the 1990's (definitely horrible; I was a kid in the 90's so I can say with complete confidence that the decade was generally terrible). Hm, lots of -ible's in this paragraph. Thank you for bearing with me. Anyway, this website dedicated to really bad movies had a decent stock of film stills accompanying many of the movie reviews. Since there were literally hundreds of films that had been discussed on the site, I was able to save a lot of beautifully tacky and/or random film stills onto my computer for future use. "For future use" in this case means something like this post I am typing right now, in which I am going to share some of the film stills so you can enjoy them as well. Also, because I am such a genius, I am going to post some other random-sourced film stills. I don't know where they all came from but they are beautiful and bring joy to my heart!


Is this Fabio? Just supposed to resemble him? I don't know. What I'd really like to see is the facial expression of the girl standing on the porch. Is she a young innocent type just now being exposed to a hot Californian teenage couple in their white bathing suits/underwear/sleeveless shirts? Since I am never going to see this movie, I suppose I'll never know.

If you don't believe in the fashion police, this film aims to convince you of its existence. This guy was hauled in right off the street! What they don't show you is when he and Ms. Frizzy Puffball here end up having a scandalous affair after she gets pulled into his endeavor in the black market selling vests.

Don't be deceived, dinosaurs existed up until about 1984. In this case, the baby T-Rex is attacked by three idiotic hunters, chases them down, and eats the two fat ones while the third guy escapes. The surviving hunter later writes a tell-all book entitled "Dinosoaring Appetite: How a Prehistoric Creature Ate My Two Hunting Buddies.

Stanley the mantid investigator, incognito in his trenchcoat and hat, manages to get discovered by his enemy while on a picnic with his vest-wearing girlfriend. In the following scene, not shown, Stanley and his girlfriend whip the enemy to death with their belts.

People in movies shouldn't go to McDonald's. Did McDonald's make money off of their sack being featured in this film? (Did anyone make movie because of anything in this film?) The lumperjack (yeah, that's right) in the white henley shirt doesn't look very eager to dig in, while the "female" on the left is saying, "Go on, the sauce on the Big Mac is actually really good!"

I'm sharing this one because it's one of the few that makes me laugh out loud every time I see it. A motorcyclist flying through the air with his/her backside aflame. What's not to love?

Was it the obnoxious protagonist who was smashed by this block of concrete? Or perhaps it was the quiet, intelligent sidekick who met his tragic demise? Maybe the answer is on the tape inside that tape recorder in his hand.

This girl deserved to get shot, fresh out of the shower. She doesn't even know how to fire her own machine gun! You don't aim at the ceiling, moron! She probably would have lived had she thought to hide in that gigantic sack hanging on the wall behind her.

We can't reach the end of this adventure without enjoying the sight of a generic exhausted man ready to go home. Maybe he's the office manager who was recently suspended only to discover the source of the company's money problems and immediately have his job restored, or perhaps he's just a lowly accountant. I hope he got some sleep in the next scene.

You know that I've got piles more of these pictures but I can only take this so far. That's why I'm stopping at the three-person high-five. Really, once you get to that point there is no going any further without complete destruction of the entire universe.