ZICAMERA FOR CHRISTMAS

I'm sick.

Shane is right: everyone forgets how crappy it is to be sick until one is sick again. The good news is that the Zicam stuff is definitely working. My cold has progressed through its usual stages in an unprecedented amount of time. Somehow that wording isn't working in my brain but I'm sick so we'll let it slide, right?

So, let's see.
Sick? Check.
Zicam? Check.
Using an entire roll of toilet paper in 24 hours time simply by blowing my nose? Check.
Having dizzy spells from blowing my nose so much? Check.

You know, now it occurs to me that I haven't had this kind of nasty-brutal-cold since I was in Russia nearly two years ago. I remember blowing my nose in the bathroom of the Frankfurt airport on the way home and my ear popped, causing me to become spinningly dizzy for about 2 minutes. I remember thinking, "I'm going to be dizzy forever. I'm going to die being dizzy. Woo!" Fortunately my body got itself together and I was fine. But the same thing happened again once we were home and I was saying goodbye to some people. I gave them a hug and my ear popped at the same time and I had to grab onto the side of my dad's truck to keep from falling over. I must have been convincing because the people didn't ever notice anything weird going on.

Conclusion: Don't ever get sick. And don't ever, EVER get sick in Russia.

I salute you, toilet paper roll. Thanks for getting me through this.

COZY TOMATO

Today I stumbled upon the website for Koji Tomoto, AKA Cozy Tomato (how cool is that?). I've always loved 60's children's book illustrations and that's what this reminds me of. I would hang these in my house, ideally in a kids' room, but until I have children I'll just admire the artwork from afar.

ELECTRIC BLANKETS ARE TERRIBLY UNDERVALUED BY THE GENERAL PUBLIC

I've always been a fan of Australia. My dad went there when I was very young, and he brought back a lot of really cool stuff that fascinated me: an Authentic Aborigine Souvenir Boomarang, opal jewelry, books, other stuff I don't remember, and a tablecloth printed with images of Australian animals. I eventually hung that tablecloth on my bedroom wall, which was sloped, so I stared at it often from my vantage point on my bed. I remember borrowing a book about Australia from our church library when I was about 10 years old and becoming fascinated with the place, mostly because the professional photographs were stunning and the rugged guy on the cover was so...ruggedly attractive. The reason I'm bringing this up now is I started salivating over Australia again tonight, as I am wont to do, only this time the urge was brought on by a weird movie based on two Brazilian characters and containing a lot of excellent Brazilian music. The music led me to think about the fact that I often prefer listening to some type of Latin music whenever it gets cold and depressing outside (i.e., winter) to spice things up a bit. I probably also have that Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.--deliciously appropriate acronym, don't you think?) so I can easily get in a funk if it's dark and cold outside for weeks at a time.

I've also always been a fan of summer, which at this point might go without saying. Having a summer birthday (July 27) always seemed fun to me, as if being a summer child made me more exciting and easygoing. I always tell myself during the harsh summer months here in Dallas that I can't wait for winter, but I find myself regretting the thought as soon as winter arrives. People will think lots of funny things when the temperatures reach over 100° for weeks on end and the drought actually makes it more bearable because the normal humidity makes everyone want to die.

Today the temperature dropped about 30° to 35° in about an hour and since then we've been experiencing nasty rain and fierce, freezing gusts of wind. My Google weather icon has switched to what looks like a cartoon of Antarctica with 24° as the predicted low tonight. That's the lowest temperature we've had since February! So right now I wouldn't mind some bossa nova music, beautiful bluegreen water, and an island to explore. And shopping. Shopping would be great too.

You know, that reminds me. People have always acted as if I'm crazy when I mention how much the weather affects my mood--it often dictates what I'm going to wear (obvious), what I am going to do recreationally, what movies I'll want to watch, books I'll want to read, and music I'll want to listen to. Doesn't this make sense? Does anyone else understand the concept of "winter music" and "summer evening music"? It's completely logical to me, but that's not saying much, I suppose. :P

All this to say:
1. I hope to one day move to Australia. I have really looked into this, you know. I've looked up jobs and apartments and everything. And tonight I looked up one-way ticket airfare, the cheapest being American Airlines at $1649.00. Hey, it'll be worth it! Someday I'll get there and be able to see it for myself. (Australia being relatively close to New Zealand and Japan also means I'll have some great vacation options.)
2. If you are depressed because of the wintery weather, pop in some bossa nova music. It's fun and energizing, and is likely to bring about mental images of warm locales.

Here are some pictures of Australia that I found on the internets. These photos depict the city of Brisbane, which is my favorite Australian city (after much research, of course).
(Click on thumbnails to enlarge)










And here are some photos I believe were taken by a fellow known as "Figaro" on Wikipedia but now I can't locate him. I like the blurry, old school camera qualities of his pictures. Wherever you are, Figgy, I hope you're still taking lots of pictures!

THE THANKSGIVING OF TOMORROW

This Thanksgiving I decided to show you what I'm thankful for in the future.


While technology has not yet progressed to flying cars, I have managed to supply myself with a rocket launcher atop my automobile. This means all those fools who pretend it's acceptable to pull out in front of the left-turn lane or who think they can turn right in front of me and go 20 miles slower than I am and it not be an issue will be blown to smithereens. I considered helping those Australian scientists invent a fire-retardent goop that shoots out from the steering wheel to protect the driver during such an attack. But obviously I decided against that. If they are going to make illegal driving moves, they had better protect themselves!

*Also, I'm the only person on the planet with a rocket launcher on my car. Otherwise how would that even be cool?


You'd think someone could have invented the miniature transportation device back in the 2010s. Alas, it took them until 2020 to invent the machine that revolutionized the world! Forgot your lunch today? No problem! Simply call your wife, tell her to insert your sandwich into the MiniPorter at home and ZAP! Lunch is served.

Better yet, punch your order into the MiniPorter and your favorite Chinese restaurant can beam the food right over to you, piping hot! The world doesn't know what hit them.


Another essential element of the future, as it pertains to me personally, is money. Lots of money. In the form of money bags. Lots of money bags.

But oh, it gets better. Because how archaic are money bags? VERY archaic. It would be much more logical and convenient to store all that money on a small item, maybe something like a card.

There we go. Oh wait.

That's right, I'm rich! You can pack about 200G onto one card and look how many I have! Not trying to rub it in, I'm just being honest.

Speaking of technology, someone finally had the bright idea to invent a do-it-yourself video game kit. FINALLY. How long did I have to wait for this? Forever, of course! And naturally my first idea for a video game was inspired by my Main Man himself.

I won't get into details of this game since it probably won't interest you, but there are generally a lot of time-challenged Italian dinners, some survive-by-keeping-warm-in-freezing-temperatures elements, and several rounds of competitive poetry reading.


The year 2020 will also debut the United States' first $13.65 stamp. Thanks to technology like the MiniPorter and iMail (plug into your brainport, think your mail, and send!), postal mail has become a fairly dated form of sending information to other people. Since the government is no longer receiving much profit from the sale of postage, they have resorted to using dogs as workers at federally-funded building sites. Only recently has the American public fought back and unanimously voted it illegal to use cute dogs on construction sites. I'm thankful that there is justice in the future!


Oh, it looks like Sean received his copy of my video game because he's calling me on my videophone. He's old now but that's okay, true love stands the test of time (and the Elixir of Life™ will be available in March)!

MY MOUTH IS LIKE A SPRINKLER

For some reason, when I was a child I rarely had cupcakes. My mom says she didn't like making them (oh come on, could they be any simpler to create?) but that she liked them, so I'm not quite sure why, in my memory, it seems I was always deprived of cupcakes. I remember always viewing cupcakes as something other kids got to have, like Super Nintendos or a Barbie mansion. For this reason I don't have an intense love of cupcakes but I think they are beautiful and just viewing photos of them makes me want one in my mouth.

This cupcake maker in Singapore, whom I found from the Cupcakes Take the Cake blog, has the most amazing, beautifully decorated cupcakes I've ever seen. Now, my experience with black and red frosting has never been pleasant (bitter and staining), but I'll joyfully assume she uses a different recipe than I have ever had. Which would be even better considering I'm quite picky about cake frosting (I hate that sugary stuff; the creamy kind is better). Anyway. I've browsed around some of the other cupcake maker's websites and photographs but none of them compare to the Cupcake Mama.





This was a lazy entry because I'm feeling lazy today. Lazy like one who is lazy. Lazy person. Which reminds me, I always hated that La-Z-Boy was spelled like that. Have you ever noticed it?

ANOTHER OBSESSION: KOKESHI DOLLS

Japanese artists are adapting the traditional Japanese Kokeshi doll into something fabulous. Believed to have been originally created for farm children and eventually being sold at northern Japanese spas, these dolls have been a part of Japanese culture for nearly 400 years. Me, I love souvenirs and I love simple, artistic renditions of souvenirs even more. These typically go for about $50 a pop and can be found on TokyoCube's website.